Mon, 04 Jan 2010
"How to have a great time," by Kat Walsh
A sweet girl named Kat Walsh wrote me an email after I wrote about Debconf. Perhaps unbeknowst to her, she sent it on my birthday. Only a week before she emailed me, I had seen Kat at the Free Culture conference in Berkeley. That, too, was a great time; I helped organize it a little, but the bulk of the work was done by others. (My contribution was some tech and a lot of housing arrangements.)
Anyway, here is what she wrote. It happens that while she wrote it about herself, I find it completely applies to me. What a nice birthday present!
I liked seeing your debconf post. I've been trying to figure out where that joyous feeling comes from, how to get it, because I'm afraid of not knowing where to find it. So here's what I think is in common with thetimes where I've had a great time:
1. Feeling welcome/valued.
I've been to conferences where it felt like people were sticking to their cliques and I was an outsider and I didn't enjoy them at all. I've also been to conferences where I didn't know anyone when I got there and I left with new friends.
(And I should be better about my responsibility to bring others in this way when I do know people! But I see why people stick to cliques: it's both hard to venture outside the circle you're comfortable and hard to risk not spending time with the people you know you like to potentially have a bad time with someone new. Maybe that's only me.)
2. Feeling like I've accomplished something -- either alone or part of a group.
Giving a talk will usually do it. Being part of a project. Getting a suggestion and acting on it. Solving a problem. Even something as simple as introducing two people who need to know each other. But if something like this doesn't happen it feels like a bit of a fun waste of time.
3. Being around people who are better than me and full of joy themselves.
It's easier to be what I most want myself to be when I am around people who are already closer to it! People who are kinder, smarter, more productive, more inspired, more generous, more driven make me rise closer to that, like myself better, and have a better time.
4. Continuous activity
Every moment being filled well -- either the gathering itself or outside activities. Or a needed rest! But no long stretches of time where I'm wishing I were doing something better or thinking I could have better spent the time at home.
Kat is the kind of person who still, after decades of being around other human beings, still takes thoughts like this seriously:
it's both hard to venture outside the circle you're comfortable and hard to risk not spending time with the people you know you like to potentially have a bad time with someone new. Maybe that's only me.
No, Kat, it's all of us!
Anyway, conference organizers can succeed overwhemlingly when they provide for "4. Continuous activity" well. I think the rest has to be up to the participants.
A serious analysis of these criteria would reveal that they're pretty much true of all of life.
